THE NEW
TOWN AND COUNTRY SEAT COVERS
(aka boxer shorts)
See a Diagram

MATERIALS NEEDED: (you will need to assemble this gift prior to giving it to the recipient)

*one pair of boxer shorts
*three 4 X 6 pieces of fabric for pockets (sew one pocket on the right front and two on each side on the back)
*one  4 X 6 piece of red fabric (sew one red pocket on the front left)
*one whistle on a string (attach to waistband on front right and put in right pocket)
*one sink/bathtub stopper on a string (attach to waistband on front left and put stopper in red left pocket)
*one band aid (put in red pocket, front left)
*one zipper (sewn into fly area)
* one corn cob wrapped in cellophane (place in back pocket)
* 2-3 squares of toilet tissue (fold and place in second back pocket)

INSTRUCTIONS: 

(READ THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS AND FEATURES TO RECIPIENT OF THE TOWN AND COUNTRY SEAT COVERS AFTER THEY HAVE OPENED THE GIFT...they could even model them for the group...or just hold them up for everyone to see)

We are proud to present you with the new Town and Country Seat Covers. With normal care they should give you years of pleasurable service.

Today, as in the past, we consider the safety features of these seat covers to be of prime importance and urge you to acquaint yourself with these various features. These special features are found in no other seat covers.

FEATURES INCLUDE:

1) The word "EXIT" has been clearly printed in the locality of the most wear and tear; this of course eliminates wasting precious moments hunting around when nature calls. It is especially "handy" during ball games, poker parties, or other outings and adventures.

2) The attractive zipper is our newest creation; this too, is a time saver and also enables the user to always have one hand free at all times.

3) You will note that just to the left of the zipper is your little red pocket; this is known as the emergency kit. If the zipper should hang, you need not embarrass yourself asking someone for a first aid kit, you already have it!

4) The attached stopper is supplied to use only in cases where you get something started and you can't turn it off!  Caution: Always cleanse stopper after each use just in case you become panicky and blow the stopper instead of the whistle.

5) After using the stopper you must blow the whistle. Explain to someone in your office or home that they should rush to your side whenever this alarm is given.

6) The Town and Country seat covers have an exclusive feature attraction that has been used for years with continual success. The T n' C seat covers features two (2) rear pockets.

a) in one pocket we include the highest grade of tissue...for a special night on the town!

b) for country outings we have supplied the lightweight "wrapped" cob . *Note: Be sure to remove the cellophane from the cob before using.

We hope you enjoy this latest model, with its many modern conveniences, and get many years of use out of your Town and Country Seat Covers. 

 Comedy May Evolve, but the
Whoopee Cushion is Forever

(ARA) – Ah, the whoopee cushion! Is there any more timeless example of simple, unsophisticated humor? The joy buzzer has its devotees. Fake dog poo has its fans, and some even prefer “X-ray Specs” or the ubiquitous rubber chicken. But the whoopee cushion occupies a special place of honor among icons of pop culture humor.

Since the whoopee cushion erupted onto the cultural scene around 1940, it’s played something of a coming-of-age role in the lives of many American youth. In fact, the cushion and other humor and novelty items –- and their enduring appeal to generation after generation –- have a lot to say about our culture.

“Mark Twain said that humor is mankind’s greatest blessing,” says Kim Boyd, whose family business, the Johnson Smith Company (www.johnsonsmith.com), has been selling thousands of different novelty items –- including the whoopee cushion –- since 1914. “We now know that laughter not only feels good, it’s good for us. I think things like the joy buzzer and whoopee cushion have endured –- and continue to delight us as at any age -– because they appeal to our inner child.”

“Many of us remember hiding under the covers at night, catalogue in one hand, flash light in the other, hoping our mothers wouldn’t catch us before we could finish filling out the order form,” Boyd says. “The anticipation of waiting for your order to arrive was almost as much fun as the items themselves.”

“Our society and level of technology have become increasingly sophisticated with every new year,” she notes. “Yet these very simple gadgets and others like them continue to sell well because they remind us of what it was like to be a child.”

Sure the whoopee cushion has evolved. You can now purchase a high-tech, battery-operated remote controlled version as well as the more mundane, posterior-powered traditional type. But the belly laughs it elicits remain the same, regardless of the level of technology involved in the surprise, or age of the cushion’s victim.

The ability to evoke those belly laughs has helped Boyd and her family build something of a novelty item empire with the Web site Things You Never Knew Existed www.thingsyouneverknew.com. “We tell folks you’ll find ‘Things you never knew existed but that you can’t live without,’” says Boyd. Now the classic icons of humor share cyberspace with movie memorabilia and items from the heyday of tacky TV, surveillance gadgets, magic tricks, slogan-bearing T-shirts, gag items, hard-to-find toys, gifts that recognize special people in our lives, and collectibles.

“I think what the continued popularity of these items says about our collective sense of humor is that we all enjoy a simple joke, something that doesn’t require a lot of thought but pays off with big laughs,” Boyd says.

And with everything seeming to cost more and more these days, it’s good to know some things, like laughter, remain virtually free. At Things You Never Knew Existed , you can order a spanking new classic whoopee cushion for the bargain sum of 99-cents. Plus shipping and handling, of course. Courtesy of ARAcontent

 Tickle Your Funny Bone At ThingsYouNeverKnewExisted.com.

Find   X Ray Glasses ,   Rat Trap and many more!

 

Item #... or keyword(s)

Suggested arrangement of materials on the
Town N' County Seat Covers
(aka boxer shorts)

  Old Fart Briefs

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  Whoopee Cushion
The Whoopee Cushion is made of rubber, inflated like a balloon and then placed on a chair, couch, seat, etc. When the victim unsuspectingly sits upon the cushion, it gives forth noises better imagined than described.

 
  Life Of The Party Book
If you ever wondered who invented sneeze powder, the joy buzzer, the dribble glass, and hundreds of other novelties, this fascinating Life Of The Party Book tells the whole story. Commemorating the 100th anniversary of S.S. Adams, America's premier novelty maker, you'll find within its pages a treasury of pranks and magic all designed to make you "the life of the party."