The New Wedding Etiquette
(ARA) - Wedding traditions can and
do change. And, sometimes, traditions should change.
So says
Peggy Post, the great-grand-daughter-in-law of Emily Post, today's
leading authority on etiquette and the author of a dozen books. As
1-800-FLOWERS.COM's etiquette expert, Post provides enlightened
solutions to weddings questions.
Here are a few established
wedding traditions that have taken on a fresh twist in recent
years:
Old: The bride's family pays for the wedding
New:
Today, just 27 percent of weddings are paid for by the bride's family.
Even a simple affair can have a significant cost, so it is not
surprising that families
attack this in different ways. The bride's
family may pay. The couple themselves may pay, or the groom's family,
the bride's family and the couple may share
expenses. What's
important is that the bride- and groom-to-be discuss the budget early to
ensure a smooth path to the altar.
Old: There should be no more
than six bridesmaids and six groomsmen.
New: You can have as many
or as few attendants as you want; there is no maximum and minimum. Even
at a big, formal wedding, just one or two attendants on
each side
are acceptable. Because groomsmen/ushers have the responsibility of
seating guests at the ceremony, the rule of thumb is one usher for every
50
guests, and it's fine to have more ushers than
bridesmaids.
Old: The bridal bouquet must be white or, at the
very least, subdued.
New: Bouquets can be as beautiful and varied
as the brides who carry them. Vibrant wildflowers, lavender roses that
match the bridesmaids' dresses, the
groom's favorite flower - all
are acceptable and wonderful. Brides, however, should consider guests
who might have allergies to certain flowers.
Old: The mother of
the groom shouldn't choose her dress until the mother of the bride has
chosen hers.
New: Traditionally, the mother of the bride chooses
her dress and then notifies the mother of the groom of its style and
shade so that she can purchase a dress
that complements but doesn't
exactly match the bride's mother and attendants. Today, the mother of
the groom should select an outfit that she feels beautiful and
comfortable in and that is appropriate for the time of day and
formality of the wedding. And if the bride's mom hasn't contacted the
groom's mom, it is perfectly
fine for mom o' the groom to initiate
that phone call to discuss dress details.
Old: Traditional
household appliances and linens are the best wedding
presents.
New: Any gift is fine, just choose thoughtfully. Some
couples today have already combined households and may not need another
blender, compact toaster
oven or set of thirsty bath towels. Gift
registries are now the norm, and handy things they are for guests who
may not know the couple as well as they might like.
And don't be
surprised by a registry that may contain non-traditional items like
chipping in on vacations and mortgage payments.
Old: Guests
shouldn't wear white or black to a wedding.
New: You can wear
white as long as it doesn't look like a wedding dress: it's the bride's
day. If you wear black, it should look like you are attending a wedding,
not a funeral. Also consider time of day, location and any rules of
attire specified by religion (for example, bare shoulders or too much
cleavage or leg showing).
Old: All guests should receive
hand-written thank you notes for their gifts.
New: Sorry, there's
no changing this one! All guests should receive hand-written thank you
notes for their gifts. Save the e-mails for lunch dates and
business-related thank yous.
For beautiful and unusual
wedding gifts, including the Flower Cake for Wedding, made completely of
fresh flowers, visit www.1800flowers.com. Courtesy of ARA
Content
* Games - Bridal
Shower Games
People tend to be split into two camps where shower games are
concerned -- either they think no shower would be complete without them,
or they’d rather visit the dentist than play them. Take your lead from
the bride on this one; after all, it’s her party. Check your local
bookstore, library, or the Internet for party game ideas. Chances are
you’ll be able to find a game that ties in with your theme. For example,
if you’re having a recipe shower, you could play the apron game: attach
a variety of kitchen utensils to an apron and have the bride put it on
and model it for a couple of minutes, then leave the room. Have guests
write down as many items as they can remember; the person with the
longest list wins.
Traditional
Roll of the Wedding Attendants
Many couples choose to do most
of the work themselves i.e. Buy the clothes for the bridesmaids etc.. But
the traditional way is as follows
Matron of Honor (Bride's
right-hand woman)
Is responsible for her own gown
and accessories
Arranges the bachelorette party and bridal shower
(guests, entertainment etc..)
Keeps a record of wedding gifts
Acts
as official witness
Helps to settles the bride's nerves
Helps
bridesmaids on the big day
Holds bride's bouquet during the ceremony
Looks after bride's things at ceremony and reception
Assists the
bride when changing from her wedding gown to her going-away clothes
Bridesmaids
Responsible for their own gowns
Assist
in all pre-wedding festivities
Helps to prepare for the reception
Fill cups with confetti, rice, or rose petals to throw for the getaway
Decorates the car
Best Man
(Groom's right-hand
man)
He's responsible for his tuxedo
Makes sure the groom
arrives on time
He sees that ushers' function runs smoothly
Gives
toast and speeches at ceremony and reception
Pays the officiant's fee
Keeps rings, license, and honeymoon tickets
Acts as toastmaster at
the bridal table
Plans for reception exit transportation
Ushers/Groomsmen
Responsible for their own attire
Involved in all ceremony festivities
Greet all guests at the
ceremony, ask which family they represent and seat them accordingly.
Unrolls the aisle runner after the bride's mother is seated
Decorates the car
Flower Girl
Precedes the bride,
tossing flower petals down the aisle
Ring Bearer
He
walks down the aisle carrying the ring secured to a satin
pillow.
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Naturally Ever After™
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Jean M® Wedding Invitations
Photo Wedding Invitations
Quite Personally
Gifts, Favors and Wedding Accessories
Paper Duvet
Internet Only Wedding Ensembles
Envelope Seals
Casual Wedding Invitations
Seal 'n Send Wedding Invitations
Save The Date Cards - Magnets
Engagement Announcements
Bridal Shower Invitations
Rehearsal Dinner Invitations
Direction Cards
Menu Cards
Wedding Programs
Printed Thank You Notes
Blank Thank You Notes
Sample
Invitations
BRIDAL
SHOWER
Bridal Shower Invitations
Bachelorette Party
Bridal Shower Fun
Custom Bridal Pens
BRIDE
Gifts for Flower Girl
Gifts for Maid of Honor
and Brides Maids
GROOM
Gifts for Bride
Gifts for Ring Bearer
Gifts for Groom's Men
Gifts for Ushers
Home Sweet Home Basket
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FAVORS
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Wedding Accessories
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Custom Bridal Pens
WEDDING
CHECK LIST
Wedding Guest Book
Wedding Pen & Base Set
Precious Moments Theme
Bookmarks
Coasters
Wedding Matches
Wedding Value Sets
Wedding Pillow
Wedding Basket
Wedding Garter
Wedding Cake Toppers
Wedding Cake Servers
Wedding Napkins
Toasting Glasses/Flutes
Unity Candles
Unique Products
Wedding Products
Wedding Favors
Wedding Decorations
WeddingJubilee.com
Unique
Wedding Products
"Alphabet" shower (guests must buy an item that
begins with a certain letter of the alphabet)
"Bon Voyage" shower (guests buy items for the
honeymoon)
"Around The
House" shower (guests buy items for a
particular room of the house such as kitchen, living room, bathroom,
bedroom, bar, etc.)
"The Great Outdoors" shower
(for couples that like to bike, camp, hike, canoe,
etc.)
Home decor shower (any item related
to decorating the home)
Holiday shower (Christmas,
Halloween, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving,
etc.)
Gift basket shower (could use
any theme such as a kitchen, bath or honeymoon basket)
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